Eye closed because I can't wake up today. That would mean admitting it's Tuesday... and also cut down on any snoozing I'm trying to catch up.
And, yes, I must post about my baby shower, which was this past Saturday (and totally wonderful and tremendous) but I just haven't had time... but I will. Just not today. Instead, we get the usual seven.
1. I'm debating taking a leave of absence from grad school for the fall semester. I am really struggling (and failing) to keep up with the reading and work required for my grad (EdM) classes, which are immensely easier than my M.A. classes were. I can't imagine how it'll be when I'm tired from taking care of a newborn and trying to juggle him with my full-time job. I have to think about it and research it a bit, though (and have to keep in mind that if I take a break from school, my student loan payments might start again, which would be problematic).
2. People keep asking me when my last day at work is. I didn't realize just how much people expect that to be planned ahead - and, frankly, it makes absolutely no sense to me. Why would I start my leave and sit around at home unless my doctor said I had to? And how would I know now when he might say that's necessary? Why wouldn't I take the maximum of my leave after The Force is born so I could spend as much time bonding with him as possible? Again, it really makes no sense to me.
3. I'm actually beginning to feel kind of ready. We have a place for The Force to sleep; we have bottles and formula if I can't breastfeed; we have clothes and diapers and toys and a stroller and a car seat and all those other things one needs. So should he make his arrival earlier than anticipated, we're actually okay for it. This kind of amazes me.
4. Watching TV last night, I was again aggravated by an anti-beverage tax commercial. I don't know if you have these where you are since they seem to be a NYC thing. This isn't the one I saw last night, but it gives you an idea of the content:
These commercial aggravate the daylights out of me because they're so manipulative. The one I saw last night was sponsored by someone like the American Beverage Association or something. Clearly, they have an agenda. And, clearly, these families have never heard that soda and sports drinks are crap? And juice should only be had in moderation since it's full of sugar? They've never heard of getting a filtered pitcher and drinking water? You know, brains need water to function so perhaps they should invest in a pitcher. Just saying.
5. Buster is doing quite well. My friend Kate is coming over this weekend and promised to take a few shots of him and Oreo, so I'll have some new pics and can share how he looks post-grooming. I thought they gave us a different dog back at first because he was so fluffy and blond! Now he's beginning to look a bit more like his scruffy self. Training-wise, he's doing better. He definitely obeys better than ever before, although he's far from perfect. But last night he sat in the nursery with me for two hours while I sorted through baby clothes and he listened every single time I told him to leave something alone. FOR TWO HOURS. This is a miracle, folks. He might actually be like a normal dog one day.
We took him to the dog park on Sunday and he was so tired later that he fell asleep on our bed with me. Might have been one of the cutest things I've ever seen.
6. I have decided that one of my coworkers is a major Debbie Downer.
A couple of months ago she "promised" me that I'd become a germaphobe once I became a mom, that I'd be obsessed with hand sanitizer. Now, I see its uses at times, but I'm not a huge fan of it (the whole development of resistent germs thing). But no matter what I said, she would just laugh and go, "Oh, you'll see." Grrr... I hate that kind of condescending thing.
So yesterday I was telling her and someone else about my baby shower and the other woman asked if I felt more ready and I said yes - but that I know you're never ready, but I feel pretty good. Debbie Downer proceeded to tell me that you always think you're ready, but caring for a newborn is like nothing else ever. So I said, yes, I know, but having taken care of TJ every day when my sister went back to work gave me a good idea of what it entails and how tiring it is, especially since my mom and I were so totally wiped out when my sister would come pick him up at 5pm... and this time, no one is going to come pick up The Force! He's mine, full-time.
She laughed, which I thought meant she was laughing at my joke, but no. She laughed and said, "Oh, it won't matter how much time you've had with other babies or how close you are to your sister, it's totally different when it's your baby." Yes. I know this. Who doesn't know this?
She went on, "No matter how much you think you know, there'll be a time when you're home by yourself and you'll be totally panicked and not know what to do and freak out completely."
Sigh. Yes. I'm sure this is true. I've already envisioned sitting at home crying because The Force is crying and I can't figure out why and am freaking out. I know that'll happen at some point. But what is the point of dwelling on it now? And why are you dwelling on it for me?
She then went on to ask what we got and kept asking, "Did you get this? How about this?" I explained that our apartment is really small and so we can't have a lot of things and she says, "Oh, but you just have to move or get rid of whatever it takes to make the room."
At that point, I was ready to haul off. We have ALREADY gotten rid of and stored as much as possible right now. I joked about having to give up a sofa at that point and she was like, "Well, yeah, friends of mine got rid of one of their sofas." Sigh. I said we wouldn't have anywhere for guests to sit then, just the one couch for the two of us. Again, still not enough for her as she said, "Well, it's not like you have time for guests when you have a baby anyway."
OH MY GOD.
Ugh. I walked out of that office wanting to smack her. I don't care if The Force screams all day, every day for my entire maternity leave. When I come back, I'm telling her it was the easiest, happiest time of my life and I don't see what everyone is talking about when they say babies are difficult. Mature, I know, but just... ugh. She annoyed me.
7. I am much less cranky and had much, much more fun at my baby shower than this picture appears to indicate, I promise:
More shower pics to come, proving it was a wonderful day and I had a wonderful, happy time.
